Title: The Kings
New Clothes --------------------------------------------------------------- The Kings New Clothes Okay, everyone is here so whats this about anyway? Elijah asked curiously. The room was filled with humans, hobbits, elves, and one bored looking teenager. Liv smiled and looked to Sean Bean. You want me to start? She asked. Please. Sean said settling into a comfortable chair in Elijah and Doms living room. Well its about Viggo. Liv began and was immediately interrupted by nearly everyone in the room. The most common phrase being, Whats wrong with Viggo? Nothing is wrong well that is nothing physically, emotionally or anything like that its oh this is going to sound so shallow but its about his wardrobe. Liv began again after the distressed voices had died down. Everyone sat there staring at her dumbly. Sean snorted in agreement. Yes Liv, Henry, and I have decided well actually I have decided and have enlisted hers and Henrys help. We need to do something about Viggos poor fashion sense. I have tried on my own and gotten no where with the man. He is somewhat emotionally attached to his clothing. I mean for Gods sake he probably still has shirts from when he was in college, and ninety percent of them are covered in paint! I love the man but really I am embarrassed to go out with him sometimes. Sean explained. Sean is right Dads cool but shit its embarrassing what he wears even the horses seem to laugh at him when he steps outside up at the ranch. Henry added. We have to do something about it. Sean frowned. And thats where you all come in. He said motioning toward the room full of people. Oh so kind of like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Elijah interrupted in his oh so innocent voice. The entire room erupted in laughter. Viggo straight? Had anyone informed you of this Sean? Orlando said wiping tears from his eyes. How do you propose to do this then? I mean how can we possibly help hell look at Orlando I mean shouldnt he be wanted by the fashion police too? Billy asked curiously as he eyed Orlandos neon orange shirt. Watch it fuzzy foot. Orlando warned. Oh shut up pointy ears. Billy teased. Both of you shut the fuck up! Sean boomed and almost came out of the chair. Both the hobbit and elf shrank just a bit. We arent talking about Orlandos wardrobe we are talking about Viggos! Now where was I? You were saying how we were supposed to help? Dom offered after managing to school his features into something resembling serious. Sean sighed and shook his head. God this bunch was something else enlisting their help was sort of like getting the keystone cops to do it but he would have it no other way. Right okay then. Now here is the plan Liv, Henry, and I came up with . Sean with help from Liv and Henry described the plan and everyone agreed to do their part. Sean hoped Viggo wasnt going to skin him alive for this but then Liv said she would claim it was all her idea, and Henry said he would back her. Viggo would never get mad at her, Sean had seen it before Liv would pout and Viggo would melt like ice cream on a hot July day in the Mojave Desert. Plus with Henry involved Viggo was certain to take it well at least after the initial shock at least. That Sunday Hurry up Viggo didnt you say we needed to get there early? Sean exclaimed from the doorway. Hang on hang on! Viggo called from the bedroom as he flicked off the light and walked into the living room. Sean was actually pleased he had managed to talk Viggo into wearing one of his better shirts. A plain red long sleeve t-shirt. It was one of the best shirts Viggo had and actually Sean had given it to him. Thank God Viggo hadnt worn that damn green and white plaid shirt that was the one he told Liv to literally BURN, put it in a blender, shred it, and just wipe it from the face of the earth. If he saw Viggo in that shirt one more time he thought that he might just gouge his eyes out with Aragorns elvish dagger. I still cant believe you are so hyped up about going with me to this, Sean. Viggo said crossing to the door and grabbing the car keys off the coffee table. Well fair is fair I dragged you to that Blades match last year besides I am curious. Ive never been to an American football game. Sean said smiling. He was sort of looking forward to it, but he was more looking forward to getting the other man out of the house long enough for Henry and the hobbits and elves to work their magic. Twenty minutes after Sean and Viggo got in the car and drove off Orlando stood up from where the group was crouched behind the neighbors bushes. I dont think they are coming back Henry you have the key right? Orlando asked for the tenth time that morning. Henry rolled his eyes. Yet again YES I have the fucking key now can we get a move on we only have an hour before Liv gets here? The group headed for the door of the house Viggo and Sean shared. Its weird going in without them being here. Elijah commented. Well its not like we are breaking and entering Henry lives here sometimes too. Billy added adjusting his backpack that held a large box of trash bags. Its not breaking and entering if you have the fucking key you daft buggers. Dom commented from somewhere behind them. When they got to the door Henry unlocked it and they hurriedly walked inside. Okay bedroom. Henry said heading straight for the room in question. Now Liv and Sean said we have to leave Dad just three shirts and three pairs of pants with paint on them so he has something to work in. I know which these are everything else toss it. Henry advised. All of them nodded and Billy opened his backpack and pulled out the trash bags. Elijah began to laugh as he stepped into Viggos closet. God I cant believe we are doing this. Orlando pulled out a hideous blue and orange plaid shirt. Even I wouldnt be caught dead in that. He commented as he balled it up and tossed it in the trash bag Dom held open. The beige suit .oh we definitely gotta trash that one! Billy said yanking the suit down with a flourish. Orlando came across a nice sapphire blue silk shirt. Why doesnt he wear this one? Henry laughed. Probably because it was in the back of the closet Dad doesnt really even look I think he just grabs the first thing he sees and throws it on. And actually I think thats one of Seans its just in the wrong closet. The teen said grabbing the shirt from Orlando and crossing the room to Seans closet which was a stark contrast to his fathers. When he opened the door Orlando turned and said Jesus and I thought Viggo was a control freak I have never seen a closet so neatly organized. Henry laughed. Sean is a neat freak you should have seen this place before he moved in. I swear Sean spent three days cleaning before he moved his stuff in. Jesus and I thought our place was bad. Dom commented to Elijah who merely nodded. Elijah pulled down a box from the shelf of the closet that held various belts, hats, gloves, and things of that sort. Hey look a toque, eh? In his best Mackenzie brothers impersonation. Ah thats a beaut eh? Billy said as he snagged the toque and tugged it on. Lets get a beer eh? Elijah stifled a laugh and snagged it back. Gimme that back you hoser. Im not a hoser youre a hoser! Billy exclaimed grabbing the toque back. Put it in the bag you hoser. Dom said grabbing it away from Billy and tossing it in the trash bag. Henry meanwhile had fallen over on the bed laughing. God you guys are stupid. He said still laughing. Orlando eyed the teen on the rumbled bed for a moment and then grinned. You do realize what Sean and Viggo do on that bed dont you? Then all of them marveled at how incredibly fast Henry flew off the bed. Thats gross Orli. Henry muttered crossing to the closet to help the others. Orlando grabbed Viggos beat up hat and immediately Henry snatched it away from him. Not that one. The teen warned. What do you mean it looks like hes slept in the damn thing? Orlando asked. No this one stays he will kill us all if we toss that hat. Henry warned setting it back on the shelf. Soon the closet was almost empty of all its contents. There were three full trash bags that contained Viggos clothes and almost exactly on time the doorbell rang. That would be Liv. Orlando said bouncing out of the room to get the door. A few minutes later Liv and Orlando walked into the room. Will you guys go get the rest of the things out of the car? She asked laying what she had in her hands on the bed. Liv set to work arranging and hanging everything she had bought for Viggo. Oooo thats nice. Billy commented on one of the nice black suits she hung up. I thought so Viggo looks good in dark colors. Liv commented. They finished hanging everything and Billy was on the floor replacing Viggos shoes with the new ones Liv had bought. Billy you better be looking at the floor. Liv commented dryly when she realized he was nearly underneath her skirt. Just getting the shoes. Billy piped up innocently and grinned. He hadnt looked up a girls skirt since he was a child and now it was so tempting. Once they were done everyone collected trash bags and Henry shut off the closet light and shut the doors. What I wouldnt give to see Dads face when he opens these doors. Orlando smiled. I plan on being safely back in London by that time. Are you frightened? Elijah asked in his best Aragorn impersonation he could muster. Everyone laughed and Orlando grinned. Yes scared shitless. Several hours later an exhausted Sean and Viggo entered the house. Sean went to the bedroom first and peeked in the closet. They did a fine job. He said smiling to himself as he looked over Viggos new wardrobe. He quickly closed the door again and slipped into the bathroom to shower, Viggo soon joined him. The two men were distracted that evening and the distraction required no clothing so the closet was left until morning. Sean could barely sleep worrying over what Viggos reaction would be. Would he be mad? Would he be shocked? Would he laugh? Sean hoped and prayed it would be the last one. The next morning Sean rose early, got dressed and went to the kitchen to start the water to boil for tea. Viggo was still asleep last he knew. Sean had just started to pour water into his cup and nearly spilled it everywhere when he heard from the bedroom a very loud voice What the fuck? which was then followed by a long pause. During that pause Sean tensed up so much he thought he might actually snap the handle off his mug. And then laughter filled the air. Sean let out a breath he had been holding and felt so relieved he thought he might pass out. Viggo walked into the kitchen buck naked with an odd grin on his face carrying several items on hangers. Sean grinned sheepishly. Surprise? The End. |