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// Indicate private thoughts
~~ Indicate Haldir and Faramir's bond

Absence of Fear - Chapter 1

Haldir stared at Denethor in amazement. The Silvan Elf had never met a man as obtuse and dead set against change as the Steward sitting across the table from him, glaring at Haldir and his brothers.

"My Lord Denethor," Haldir said, determined to keep his voice neutral. "We are *not* here to take over your city, I assure you. We are *trying* to form an alliance with Gondor."

Denethor bit back a snarl and leveled his gaze at the blond Elf before him. He *hated* Elves. They should all die a slow, painful death at the hands of a balrog, as far as he was concerned. And of all the Elves he hated, Haldir was quickly getting to be high on his list. Arrogant, cold, and haughty…even his own brothers said little to him. And *where* was Faramir? He knew better than to be late…especially when this meeting with these insufferable Elves had been scheduled for days. //Of course, Boromir would have been on time. And he would have handled this, rather than forcing the steward to waste his time in such a manner. Typical Faramir though…the boy could do very little right. Ah well…he could pay dearly for this. Very, very dearly.//

~~~

Faramir rushed towards the large double doors of the council chamber. He was late and he was certain his father would be furious even if his excuse was a perfectly good one.

Slapping at the dust on his sleeve he took a deep breath and looked at the guards who flanked the doorway. Both had a look of sympathy in their eyes...they knew much of what the young man had endured in these halls. Taking a deep breath as the guard opened the door he strode through trying to keep his head up. He knew that with visitors, especially *these* visitors his father would want him to look every bit of the Stewards son, even if Faramir wasn't the one he wanted to be attending this meeting.

"My deepest apologies for my tardiness," he said bowing as his father looked up and gave him a piercing look.

Denethor studied his son for a moment, wishing with all his heart that just *once* Faramir could do something right. Considering Faramir's preoccupation with the Elves, he was surprised he hadn't been here fawning over the creatures from the moment they'd arrived. At least he would have been spared listening to Haldir, who, Denethor had no doubt, was not to be trusted under any circumstances.

Turning his attention back to Faramir, Denethor rolled his eyes. "Just once, Faramir," he ground out between gritted teeth, "I would ask you not to embarrass me in front of our guests. Now kindly sit down and try not to embarrass me further."

Haldir took advantage of the Steward's distraction and conferred with his brothers. They were obviously getting nowhere with their discussions, and he was almost to the point of asking to speak to one of the Gondorian councilors instead. Both his brothers agreed, and Haldir looked up to address Denethor once again.

Before he could speak, his gaze traveled to the young man that was sitting timidly beside the Steward. He was the most beautiful man Haldir had ever seen, and he found himself wishing he would look up to meet his gaze. His breath caught in his throat and his fingers curled in his lap as he fought the urge to reach across the table and gently tilt the young man’s face up so he could see his eyes.

"I am Haldir, " he said softly, ignoring Denethor's murderous look and staring at the young man. "I do not believe I have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance." //Pen velui (lovely one), you are beautiful. Please look at me.//

Realizing one of the Elven ambassadors were addressing him, Faramir looked up slowly his eyes meeting with dazzling blue eyes. He realized he was staring for a moment as he looked at the Elf. He was quite simply the most stunning being he'd ever encountered in his life.

"I..." clearing his throat he attempted a small smile, "I am Faramir, I am honored to meet you Master Elf," he said softly his gaze soon drifting back to the table. He could feel his father's eyes on him and wished yet again that he could have gone to Rohan instead of Boromir.

Haldir reluctantly drug his eyes away from the young man, noting that he had the clearest, most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. He was fairer than any Elf, and Haldir longed to learn more of him even though he seemed determined to stare unrelentingly at the table.

//Faramir// The name rang in Haldir's ears long after Denethor began to speak - rather, to argue once more - and the three Silvan Elves were soon embroiled in yet another heated discussion about borders and Rangers and unwanted alliances.

During the discussion Faramir listened patiently, all the while stealing glances at the one named Haldir. His long straight hair shone like Mithril in the waning sunlight, and he found his fingers itching to touch the golden strands. Faramir wondered if it were as silky as it looked. As the discussions wore on, he relayed the information his father wanted him to, but carefully avoided offering any opinions or suggestions, though many had come to mind.

He knew that his ideas would not be welcomed. He would instead wait until Boromir returned, and offer the ideas to him, they would be accepted by their father without question, but if he made them they would barely leave his lips before they were dismissed.

As the negotiations seemed to be drawing to a close he looked up to see Haldir staring at him. Immediately his face flushed and he looked back down at the table not wanting his father to notice. //Why would an Elf even bother himself to look at someone like me? Perhaps my late arrival has offended him too? //

"Enough." Denethor stood and, forgoing all further pleasantries, stormed out of the room. Having to spend several hours with both his lesser son and these arrogant Lorien Elves was more than he could bear. He made no attempt to keep his words from being heard, and he grumbled every step of the way until the doors closed behind him.

'At least Faramir isn't quoting that old fool, Mithrandir,' Denethor thought angrily as he strode to his chambers. Faramir was naive and easily misled by the vile old wizard, and had the irritating habit of agreeing with him in most cases - even siding with him on occasion. And those Elves! If *only* his good son were here, Boromir could take these inconsequential meetings and leave Denethor to his more pressing duties of running his city. But, alas, he was always left with the *other* son. The son who was good for only one thing - and he wasn't even very good at that. Slamming the door to his bedroom, Denethor left word with a guard for Faramir to report to him at once after he left the meeting hall. At least he would find *some* relief on this day.

Faramir winced as his father had stood up quickly, half expecting a fist to land on his back as it had at other times when his father grew frustrated. Keeping his head down until his father had cleared the large doorway he looked up slowly, "I am sorry," he said softly.

Haldir, startled at the rather abrupt and obvious dismissal, turned his attention back to Faramir. "I think your father has much to learn of Elven ways," he smiled at the young man. "You, however, seem to be more open to change…and offers of assistance."

Orophin and Rumil turned to look at their older brother in surprise. He was actually being kind to a total stranger! He was rarely even kind to those he knew well, and he was being positively solicitous to the steward’s son. They wisely kept their mouths closed and moved across the room, studying their brother intently.

"My...openness to change and assistance is of no consequence. I wish I could be of more help. Perhaps if your party is able to stay until my brother Boromir returns, you will find my father more...cooperative." Faramir stood up and bowed slightly to the Elves as he spotted a guard looking in the door sadly at him. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Father was irritated, and he would pay for it as always.

Haldir studied Faramir carefully for a moment before speaking. "No consequence?" he said slowly, noticing the way Faramir's eyes looked toward the door and almost visibly winced. //Whatever could bring so much sadness to such beautiful eyes?//

Rumil and Orophin began speaking quietly, wondering if this Elf speaking so kindly to Faramir was actually their brother. He *looked* like him, but his entire demeanor had changed. He was smiling! Their brother *never* smiled. And he was speaking softly, seemingly trying to get the young man he was speaking with to relax.

Shaking his head, Haldir tried to remain focused and not get distracted by those blue eyes that made him want to forget everything and everyone else on Arda. It was not like him at all to be so taken with anyone….let alone a mortal man! He prided himself on having ties to no one, and keeping any emotions he felt well under wraps. Yet something inside him refused to allow anything but kind and soothing words to fall from his lips, and before he knew it, he was speaking again. "As the son of the Steward, I would imagine you are well versed in strategy…and would know that turning away a powerful ally is never a wise choice." Standing up, Haldir walked to Faramir's side. "Maybe it is you that we should be speaking to, instead of your Father?"

Faramir looked up from his intent study of the floor when Haldir spoke, and he began shaking his head, "Please...please do not ever say that in my father's presence," he found himself begging. If his father ever heard those words there was no telling what sort of rage it would throw him into.

“I...I am not...my brother will be returning from Rohan soon...I think you will find it easier to deal with my father when he is present," Faramir said softly, his gaze dropping away from the beautiful eyes of the Elf. "I must go," he said glancing at the guard still standing in the doorway. He knew that if he tarried too long it would only enrage his father more and it would be even more painful. //Just go...get it over with.//

Haldir's eyes widened in shock at the panicked undercurrent present in Faramir's voice. The young man was obviously frightened. Could he have misread the piercing blue eyes so completely? Was Faramir of the same mindset as his father? Did he so dislike and fear the Elves that he would use any excuse to flee from their presence? Or was the fear directly related to Denethor, and not Haldir and his brothers?

"Faramir," Haldir said gently, fighting the urge to place his hand on Faramir's arm. He wondered for a moment what had gotten into him. He didn’t like touching people, and he didn’t like being touched. Yet his brain and his heart seemed to be at odds with each other as he moved closer to the young man who seemed so frightened and innocent. "I will do as you wish. I will say nothing to your Father. But I would like to speak with you again, privately. I would like to have at least one ally in Gondor."

Faramir looked back up and gave a tentative smile, "You do have an ally in me...but I'm afraid that will do little to help your cause," he said softly. "I would like to speak to you but...I will be required to explain my tardiness this afternoon and I fear if I keep him waiting much longer his mood will darken even further," Faramir explained carefully.

Haldir's heart beat faster as Faramir turned and smiled at him. His smile is as mesmerizing as his eyes, Haldir thought to himself. "Then I shall look forward to speaking with you again, my friend," he said softly. "I will leave you to your duties, and hope that our paths shall cross again before I must take leave of your fair city."

"I hope that as well," Faramir said softly bowing his head slightly and then bowing to the other two Elves before he made his way for the door.

The guard there shook his head, "He was angry, you best not tarry any longer my Lord," the guard said softly.

Faramir nodded and quickly made his way up to his father's chamber hoping if he got there swiftly enough he would not have to endure too much of his father's wrath. He already knew what he would face, and hoped that his temper had cooled somewhat. It was but a small hope.

Haldir stared thoughtfully after Faramir as he hurried from the room, apparently being called to more important duties than dealing with tiresome elves. Remembering the young man's smile, brief though it was, Haldir sighed, wishing he could have held Faramir's interest for a while, and gotten to know him better.

He turned to his brothers and began discussing their plans for the evening. The three Elves decided to retire to their rooms for a few hours, and then meet back in the main dining hall for the evening meal. Haldir gave in to Orophin's pleas and promised to not bring up alliances or treaties or patrols with anyone that evening, especially Denethor, and the brothers looked forward to what would hopefully be a peaceful meal.

Rumil and Orophin were about to burst with questions, but as soon as Faramir left the room, the Haldir they’d known for most of their lives returned. He was business-like and distant, and they both wondered if they’d been seeing things. Their brother was *not* one to befriend anyone, nor was he one who worried about making others feel better. Many would not have even known the three of them were even family, for all the attention Haldir usually paid to his younger brothers.

TBC