Title: Misinterpretations 1/1
Author: Glorfindel and Sairalinde
Type: RPS
Pairing: Viggo/Sean B. (sorta)
Rating: Sexual Implication/Light Sexual Situations for innuendo
Beta: Sairalinde
Disclaimer: This never happened...this is total fiction spurred on by a chain smoking chocolate eating bunny that lives in my purse. Viggo, and Sean are real people but we make no claims on them. This was written in fun that's all.
Feedback: Yes please send to glorfindel @ hornofgondor.com or sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com
Archiving: OEAM, Rugbytackling, LOM, GO-others ask.
Summary/Notes: Billy is confused.
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Billy entered the cafeteria dressed in his Pippin garb. He was famished. Perhaps they had cast him in the perfect role of a hobbit he thought, since he too shared a love of eating all the time.

As he strolled amongst the tables making his way toward his goal of food he thought, God what a weird place this is. Everyone dressed in their costumes eating breakfast. It just struck him funny and he laughed to himself seeing elves and orcs eating with spoons and sipping orange juice, coffee, or tea. If you weren’t quite awake yet it could be a bit disconcerting. He supposed that they could sell tickets to just this and pay for the entire wardrobe budget.

As he passed the table where Miranda and Liv were sitting he overheard Liv say
“I was watching TV with Sean last night when he suddenly attacked. It was great, I’d never seen one so big.”

Miranda laughed. “I told you it was big.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t say it was THAT big…I mean it was huge!”

Billy stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widened and he shook his head. ‘No surely not, he didn’t, he’s not. Oh, I got to hear this.’ He thought.

He just had to hear more, so he quickly sat down at the table behind the two women so he could hear every detail. The orcs at the table looked at him oddly and then returned to their food not paying him much attention.

‘This is going to be great’, he thought mentally rubbing his hands together, ‘I can use this to mess with Bean.’

What he heard next, he wasn’t expecting.

“Dom and I really enjoyed playing with his ‘willy’ the other night.” Miranda said.

‘What!?’ Billy thought, thankful he hadn’t been drinking anything—otherwise Pippin may have to be replaced because an orc had just removed Billy’s arms from their sockets.

He was really confused now—Dom, his bud, his partner in crime, surely not? He wasn’t into that sort of thing? Was he? He felt his hunger leaving him as he concentrated on what he’d just heard. Not that it bothered him, it didn’t. It was just something he never thought he’d hear--especially not in combination with Bean AND Miranda…and now Liv too?? Damn, Beanie sure got around; he thought those rumors were just that…rumors!

Liv and Miranda had finished eating and got up to leave. Billy remained seated completely stunned.

He finally got to his feet and wandered across the room to where his friends were sitting.
He took a seat next to Orlando and just sat for a long time staring into space.

“You all right?” asked Elijah, “You look a little pale.”

“I’m, I’m fine.” Replied Billy.

“Aren’t you gonna eat anything?” asked Dom from across the table. It wasn’t like Billy to pass up breakfast…or any other meal.

“I’m not really hungry right now.”

“At least have some juice.” Said Elijah, as he passed his orange juice over to him, worried about how strange his friend was acting.

“Thanks.” Replied Billy. He opened the little juice bottle and began to sip.

As the thought of Liv and Miranda’s conversation he’d eavesdropped on spun in his mind, he could no longer stand it. He had to say something. He knew he couldn’t say anything about Dom, in case the others didn’t know, so he thought he’d play it safe.

“I heard Liv was at Bean’s last night. She said he was all over her and she really enjoyed it.”

“I had a ball playing with it the other night!” Dom blurted out.

‘Oh God, he said it!’ Billy thought. He quickly looked around to see the other’s reactions. There weren’t any.

Elijah spoke next.

“Yeah, I played with it a few days ago myself.”

‘What?’ Billy thought. ‘My God Beans a perv, Elijah isn’t even eighteen yet!’

From down the table he heard Viggo speak up.

“Yeah, I fell asleep in his trailer last week and woke up to find it in my mouth. The damn thing nearly choked me.”

Billy was in mid drink, which he spewed all over Dom across the table in front of him.

“Hey!” Dom yelled. “Wardrobe is gonna have my arse!”

“Sorry.” Said Billy as he got up coughing and sputtering as he left.

“What’s eating him?” asked Elijah.

“Don’t know.” Replied Dom, as he cleaned himself off as best he could with napkins.

As Billy was leaving he ran into none other than Sean Bean.

“Hey there.”

“Um, hi.” Replied Billy. Looking at the ground.

“I’m having a get together tonight at my trailer, want to come?” asked Sean.

Billy didn’t know what to say. He stammered over his words as he replied.

“Well, I don’t know, well, I mean…”

“Yes or no Billy. It’s not that hard.” Replied Sean with his hands on his hips wondering why Billy wouldn’t look at him.

‘That’s not what I heard.’ thought Billy.

“Come on, everyone’s going to be there.” Sean coaxed.

“Well, ok.” Billy said, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Good, we’ll see you around 8:00 then.” Sean answered as he walked away.

Billy spent the rest of the day worrying about what was going to happen at Sean’s trailer that night. He’d been so flustered at one point he’d walked right into the camera during a scene because he was watching Bean!

Billy arrived at Sean’s a little past eight. When he entered he was a little more at ease once he saw his friends just sitting around eating popcorn and watching a movie.

‘Hmm, don’t know what I was so worried about he thought. I must have misunderstood everything.’

Latter on Billy was sitting by him self when Sean moved across the room and sat next to him.

“I’ve got something to show you.” Sean said.

What?” Billy asked with a gulp.

“I want you to see Willy.” Replied Sean.

‘Oh God!’ thought Billy. ‘He’s going to molest me in front of everyone!’

Just then a rather large ferret crawled into Billy’s lap. He screamed bloody murder.

“What’s the matter?” asked Sean. “Its just Willy, my daughter’s ferret.”

Billy opened his eyes and looked down.

“Oh, oh it is.” He said with relief looking at the very fat ferret in his lap.

“I got him from Craig, he moved into a new complex that doesn’t allow pets. So I bought him for Evie because her birthday is next week and her grandma is bringing her down to visit me.” Sean explained. “It will piss off Abby to no end!” Sean added grinning wickedly at the thought of doing anything to irritate his newest ex wife.

“What did you think I was referring to?” Sean asked curiously.

“Um…this is embarrassing. I thought…well I heard Liv say she was playing with your ‘willy’ and um…so did all these other people and well…I’m sorry guess my mind was in the gutter.” Billy responded turning blood red.

Sean began to chuckle but soon he was laughing so hard he had tears running down his face.

“Good Lord…what kind of man do you think I am?” Sean said gasping for breath and wiping tears from his face.

Billy had begun laughing too and said, “I dunno. I guess one well endowed perv that had shagged everyone on set.”

Sean laughed even harder and shook his head. “Nope…well got no complaints but nope not everyone on set. Viggo would kill me.” Sean answered getting up.

Billy laughed for a few seconds and then suddenly stopped. Hang on a minute…did he just say ‘Viggo would kill me?’

He looked across the room and watched as Sean settled down on the couch next to Viggo who slipped his arm around Sean as the blonde whispered in his ear and Viggo began laughing and shaking his head.

“No, Billy…HIS willy is all MINE!” Viggo yelled out across the room.

Everyone dissolved into fits of laughter. Apparently Billy was the last to know about everything.

“God I’ve got strange friends.” Billy said to himself petting the ferret still curled in his lap.

The End.