Here With Me Chapter 19
Author: Anorien and Sairalinde
Type: RPS
Pairing: Craig/David
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Ourselves
Warning: Abuse described in later chapters not between the main pairing.
Disclaimer: This never happened. This was written in fun that's all.
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com
or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com
Archiving: OEAM, Mirrormere, The Chronicles of Osgiliath, Saira's Library, CxD Archive, other's ask.
Summary: A.U. Two University Professors try to overcome their pasts and find love and healing.

// indicates thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David set the alarm and rubbed D'Artagnan between his ears before heading upstairs. Just as he walked into the bedroom Craig stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around him. "Oh…well is my timing good or what?" David teased as he closed the bedroom door behind him.

Craig grinned and finger combed his hair. "Your timing is impeccable. But here I am, wearing nothing but a towel, and look at you…I'm thinking you've got the distinct advantage here." Crossing the room, he leaned in to place a soft kiss on David's lips.

"Mmm, yeah...well I guess if I'm at an advantage then you are just going to have to do something about that, love," David said smiling brightly and backing toward the bed, pulling Craig with him.

Craig stopped just before he reached the bed and wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. "Well," he grinned, pulling David closer, "I definitely think I'm the man for the job." Trailing his fingertips underneath the hem of David's t-shirt, his hands moved in slow circles over the warm skin underneath. He leaned in for a deep kiss as he slowly brought the shirt up over his lover's stomach and chest. Pulling away only long enough to slip the material over David's head, he resumed the kiss, pressing their bare chests together and holding his lover tightly. "See?" he breathed, "Phase One is well underway."

David chuckled softly against his lover's lips. "Hmm, I think I'm really looking forward to Phase Two then," he grinned nibbling gently on Craig's bottom lip as his hands roamed down Craig's back kneading and caressing the strong muscles. Losing himself in another breath stealing kiss, David felt as if his skin was on fire everywhere Craig touched him. No one had ever made him feel this aroused, or this loved by just removing his clothing.

Craig's fingers ghosted over every inch of David's exposed skin, before coming to rest at his waist. His tongue danced across his lover's as one hand untied the string to David's sweatpants and slowly pushed them down over smoothly muscled hips and thighs, letting them fall to the floor unnoticed. His other hand splayed across the small of his lover's back, holding him steady as he stepped out of the sweats, then pulled him close again. "Phase Two complete," he whispered softly before gently urging David back to lie on the bed.

David smiled up at Craig as he lay back on the bed holding his hand out to him. It had been a long day at work and being here with Craig in *their* bed was the best part of it. He had been thinking of pretty much everything as theirs lately. The house was no longer his house but their home...and it was because of Craig's love that he'd been able to see things that way.

Craig reached out for his lover's hand and settled in the bed next to him, leaning over to press tender kisses across his collarbones. One hand feathered through David's soft hair as the other moved slowly down to stroke his stomach. "I am so in love with you," Craig whispered softly as he brought his lips down to meet David's.

Kissing Craig, David tangled his fingers in damp hair. As Craig drew away for a breath David smiled up at him, "I am in love with you too...so much I can barely concentrate sometimes because you are all I think about," he whispered, pulling Craig back down for another breath stealing kiss.

Craig lost himself in his lover's kiss, holding him close and feeling as if the rest of the world didn't even exist. David's kisses always made him forget how tired he was, or where he was - he sometimes even forgot his own name. His free hand gently slid underneath David's head, cradling him and pulling him even closer, deepening the kiss as his other hand ran lightly over his lover's stomach and thighs. Pressing himself against the man he loved, Craig pulled away to draw in a shaky breath. "You are so beautiful," he said softly.

"No that's you, love, the most beautiful man I've ever met in my life and I can't believe that you love me. I always feel so blessed waking up in your arms," David said softly gazing into sparkling blue eyes.

"I will always love you," Craig whispered, raining soft kisses over David's face. // One day you'll see that this is forever, that I truly love you with all my heart.// His fingers wrapped around his lover's arousal, slowly teasing and stroking, his thumb running gently over the tip, spreading the moisture that was already beginning to leak out. Kissing a trail down David's body, Craig stopped when he reached the weeping member and snaked his tongue out to lick the swollen head. "I want you, love," he whispered before lowering his head back down run his tongue from the base to the tip of David's cock.

David's breath hitched as Craig's hand wrapped around his shaft, already hard from just Craig's being near him. Moaning softly as his lover's tongue moved over the leaking head, he tangled his fingers in Craig's hair. "I want you too...make love to me, please?" David asked huskily before losing all thoughts as Craig's tongue moved up the length. Biting his bottom lip, he concentrated on keeping his hips still a while longer...part of him wanting to drag out the sensations and part of him just wanting more and more.

Craig reached over to the nightstand for the lube just as his mouth descended on David's rigid arousal, not stopping until his lips reached the soft curls nestled at the base. Running his tongue over the velvety skin, he slicked his fingers, finally pulling back to run his tongue over the heavy sac that hung low and heavy between David's legs. His own cock was twitching with anticipation, and he ached to be buried inside the man he loved. He placed one finger at his lover's entrance and slowly pressed forward, just as his mouth descended on David's cock once again.

A deep moan rumbled from low in his chest as the warm cavern of Craig's mouth surrounded his hard length. "Oh God," he moaned again as Craig's tongue teased him. David bit his lower lip as he felt a slick finger press against him at the same time the warm mouth descended around him again. Curling his fist into the bed covers David let his eyes slip closed and lost himself in the sensations.

Slowly circling his finger inside his lover, Craig lavished attention on the weeping cock in his mouth. He loved being able to elicit these soft moans and murmurs from David, loved knowing that David was able to let go and just *feel* like this. He carefully added a second finger and slowly spread them apart, scissoring and pressing forward, preparing his lover for his more.

"Craig, please...want you," David moaned as he gave up the battle and pressed down with his hips onto the fingers working inside him and back up into the perfect inviting mouth surrounding his cock. Craig could drive him from playful teasing to desperately wanting more in a matter of seconds. Sex had never been all that enjoyable for David before meeting Craig, but now, there were times when he simply couldn't get enough of Craig. Of his touch...of the feel of his skin against David's. Everything...every little thing was like pure magic and David was beginning to realize it was because he loved Craig so much...that just a simple touch meant more to him than anything else. Just Craig's smile made him feel like everything would be all right even when it seemed the world was falling down around him.

Craig reached back for the lube and quickly slicked his cock as the fingers of his other hand continued to stretch his lover. With a final kiss to the tip of David's arousal, he pressed his fingers in deeply, twisted them, and drew them out carefully. He positioned his cock at his lover's entrance and let his lips slowly make their way back up to the warm skin of his neck. "I love you, David," he murmured softly between kisses. Burying his face in the crook of David's neck, he closed his eyes and held him close, prolonging the moment for as long as he could, making sure that his lover was still relaxed before he entered him. "I want you, my love. I only want you."

David barely suppressed a whimper as Craig's fingers slipped from his body. He smiled lovingly when Craig murmured he loved him against his lips. "I love you," David whispered in return. Feeling Craig's thick cock press against him, David thought he might go crazy if he didn't move soon...but then he heard softly murmured words against his neck which caused his heart to freeze in his chest it seemed. "I own you." Those words seemed to echo inside his head. Closing his eyes he tried to pull back further into the unforgiving bed as his entire body tensed. The words Richard used to say...the words he always said that made David feel even more helpless. Frightened by his reaction and knowing Craig had no way of knowing that Richard had said that he tried to force his body to relax but couldn't.

Craig felt David's body tense beneath him and he automatically stopped moving, pulling his hips back and regarding his lover with concern. This wasn't the first time David had tensed up as they were making love, but Craig sensed that this was different, somehow. He ran a soothing hand down his lover's ribs, and he could feel how much effort David was putting forth to relax, but the muscles were still as tight as a bowstring. Leaning back to gaze into the beloved blue eyes, Craig saw the barely concealed panic there and slid from between David's legs to lie beside him. "What is it, love?" he asked worriedly, terrified that he'd done something to hurt him. His fingers continued running lightly over his lover's skin as his eyes searched David's face. "Did I hurt you?"

David closed his eyes and wished that he could just be *normal* for Craig. *THIS* shouldn't happen! When he opened them he wished he could explain that it wasn't Craig's fault. He didn't know...couldn't have known. When Craig moved away from him he couldn't help curling in on himself beside him and burying his face into the pillow. "No...no...y...you didn't hurt me," David stammered and closed his eyes again angry with himself.

Craig felt his heart break as he watched his lover. He tried frantically to remember exactly what he'd said or done just before this happened but could remember nothing out of the ordinary. Letting his hands rub his lover's arm, he slid his free arm under David's head and pulled him close, letting a hand run soothingly over his back. He could see the misery etched on the beloved face and he knew that this had something to do with David's past. "Please, sweetheart," he said softly, as he leaned in to press his lips to his lover's temple. "Don't shut me out. Tell me what happened. What did I do?"

"Nothing...it was...something you said was something *he* always said and it...it...I'm sorry, Craig. I'm so sorry," he whispered softly against Craig's chest. Shaking his head slowly, "I'm so sorry...I know you didn't know...couldn't have known," David murmured still trying desperately to relax his body. He was so terrified that Craig would turn away from him for this that he found himself clinging to him.

"Please don't be sorry," Craig whispered, rocking his lover gently in his arms. "It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong. I love you, and I'm so sorry I scared you." Holding on to David tightly, Craig closed his eyes and tried to remember exactly what he'd said. "I said I love you, that I want you, that I only want you," he said softly. "Was that it? Was that what he used to say?"

David shook his head, "No...I thought...I thought you said 'I own you'," David said looking up at Craig his confusion evident in his eyes. "I heard...I heard that, *that's* what he always said, always said he wanted me and that he owned me that I belonged to him."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Craig said softly, brushing the pad of his thumb over his lover's cheek. "I'm so, so sorry. I would never say that I owned you, never. You heard what you'd heard so many times before, but that's not what I said, sweetheart, I promise." Looking seriously into David's eyes, Craig saw the pain and fear that still lingered there. "I love you, I want you, I need you, but I don't own you."

David nodded slowly, "I...I must have misunderstood," David said looking down and feeling even worse for even thinking Craig had said that. "I'm so sorry, I'll...I'll be ok...if you want..." David trailed off unable to finish his sentence or even to look back up at Craig.

Craig gently tilted David's face up to look at him. "It was my fault," he whispered. "I was mumbling." Reaching for the blanket, he pulled it over his lover and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Just relax, and let me hold you."

David stared into Craig's eyes completely shocked...he didn't want...to? "But...are you sure?" David asked softly, still frightened that Craig might leave. "I'm so sorry...I promise I'll try never to do that again...please...just stay," he whispered softly burying his face against Craig's neck. He wrapped his arms around Craig and held onto him as if he were afraid that he would disappear.

//…just stay?// Craig's fingers carded through David's hair, feeling his lover's warm breath against his neck. "Oh, baby," he whispered softly, "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Gently pulling away enough to stare into David's eyes, he lifted his free hand to capture his lover's chin. "I love you, and I'm never going anywhere, no matter what."

As David looked up into Craig's eyes realization began to dawn on him. Craig wasn't angry with him, he wasn't going to leave him, and...he really did love him. He wouldn't have stopped the way he did...when he did if he didn't. He wouldn't be so understanding now...he had always known Craig was nothing at all like Richard but now...now he knew. Now he knew that Craig's words were true. He did love him! He did want him forever just as David wanted and loved him! He felt like his heart was about to fly out of his chest and he leaned forward, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face and kissed Craig softly. "I love you...forever, Craig...I love you," he whispered kissing him again wrapping his arms and legs around his lover. He felt as if all of his worries and fears had just dissolved into nothing. Drawing back he stared into Craig's eyes, "I will never doubt you again, love," he whispered seriously.

Craig saw *something* in David's eyes that he'd never seen before - something had happened - he could see it in the depths of the glittering blue eyes that gazed back at him with such joy. // I think….God, could this be it? // Terrified that he'd only seen what he wanted to see, only heard what he wanted to hear, Craig took a deep breath. "Sweetheart?" he said softly. "Does this mean…..you *know? You really know?"

"Yes, love," David said happily, unable to stop smiling. Kissing Craig again quickly he pulled back to look into his beautiful eyes. "Yes. I'm yours, and for the first time I know you mean it when you say you're mine too. I love you so much, Craig. God I can't explain how good this feels," he said laughing and hugging his lover close, whispering against his ear. "I told you when we were at the Inn that I needed time but that I believed one day it would happen."

Craig wrapped his arms around David and pulled him down on top of him, laughing. He'd wanted this moment for a long time, and now that it was here, he was totally speechless. He could only hold his lover close and laugh, thankful that he'd been blessed with this precious gift. Sitting up, Craig held David, settling him in his lap. He suddenly felt as if everything in the world had fallen into place right before his eyes, and pulled back to look into the beloved blue eyes. "You have no idea how happy you have just made me," he said softly. "Thank you. Thank you for believing in me, and for trusting me. God, I love you so much." Leaning in, he tried to convey his feelings in a kiss, but knew that it wouldn't come close to how he really felt.

As he settled in Craig's lap David wrapped his arms around his lover and smiled. Leaning forward and meeting Craig halfway he lost himself in his lover's kiss. It was perfection...just knowing that Craig really did love him...it changed everything. Changed absolutely everything. "Thank you, love...thank you for being patient with me...thank you for loving me," he whispered as he drew away. "God...I never thought I could feel this happy," David said amazement evident in his voice.

"I don't know what happened just now to make you see," Craig said, "but I can never tell you how much this means to me. I …I just don't have the words." Letting dozens of soft kisses rain down over his lover's face, Craig finally pulled away. "But don't think this will get you out of hearing me tell you how much I love you every day. I'm going to tell you that at least dozen times a day, and I'm going to show you even more often than that. So I hope you can get used to that - you are so stuck with me."

Nodding David smiled, "I can't wait," he whispered. "I just *knew* finally...when you didn't pull away from me...when you stopped earlier as soon as I tensed up...when you held me rather than getting frustrated...I knew. If you didn't love me no matter how nice you were...there is no way it wouldn't have frustrated a person, but you never were."

"I would never pull away from you," Craig said softly. "I understand how you feel, and sometimes I just don't think before I do or say things, and it breaks my heart to see that look in your eyes. But this…" Craig said, running the pads of this thumbs over the corner of his lover's eyes, "…*this* look in your beautiful eyes makes me think you're almost as happy as I am. Never seen two people happier to be stuck with each other before."

David laughed, "I don't think I've ever *been* this happy before," he said smiling and wrapping his arms around Craig's neck and kissing his cheek. "I am so thankful you followed me that day...I can't believe how much you have changed my life for the better." David snuggled closer to Craig and simply held him tight never feeling happier than he did at this moment.

Craig leaned back down and pulled David back on top of him. "I fell in love with you the moment you looked up at me. And do you *know* how many times I almost slipped and called you 'love'? God, I thought I was losing my mind sometimes - half the time, I'd think it automatically, then be worried that I'd said it out loud and you'd think I was crazy." Kissing his lover's neck softly, Craig closed his eyes. "I meant it when I said I'd never told anyone I loved them before, David. I always knew that if I was lucky enough to find my one true love, I'd say it to him, and no one else, ever. I love you, I love you, I love you, only you."

David smiled as he rested his head against Craig's shoulder. "I fell in love with you so quickly it scared me...and then that night when I did slip and called you love I didn't know what to do," he laughed softly. Taking a deep breath he snuggled closer to his love. "I've told others I loved them, because I *thought* what I felt was love...but I learned that love doesn't feel that way. Real love feels completely different, and warm, and wonderful, and perfect...just like you."

"It does feel different," Craig said softly. "It feels just like this. Just like Heaven." Running his hands over David's back and arms, Craig smiled. "You've been through so much," he whispered. "But all that's over now. You're so brave, and so strong, and I swear on my very life that I will never make you regret giving your heart to me."

"I know you won't, and I promise that I will do anything and everything to make you happy...as happy as you make me if that's possible," David said softly. "You are everything to me...before you came along I'd written a poem where I said I was half the naked distance between hell and heaven's ceiling, and my past almost pulled me under...but you saved me, Craig. I can't even write angsty poetry anymore because of you, ya know? My publisher is going to kill me," he laughed softly.

Craig nibbled on David's neck and smiled. "I'm glad you can't write angsty poetry anymore, but if your publisher will kill you for that, then I'm thinking you should find another publisher," he laughed, trying his damnedest to sound serious, but failing miserably. "No more angst for you, ever," he whispered. "Only happiness and love and joy and light- all the things you deserve, my love. I don't know if I saved you, but I do know that I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I feel like I was the one who was saved, you know. I just existed before you came along, but now I'm *living*."

David smiled and ran his fingers through Craig's hair. "Then...maybe we saved each other?" he whispered softly snuggling closer and pulling the blankets up. "Do you mind if we just cuddle and sleep? I'm suddenly really tired...and I just want to feel your arms around me. Does that sound ok to you?" David asked kissing Craig's neck tenderly.

"Yeah," Craig whispered, closing his eyes and holding his lover tightly. "I think we did save each other." With a contented sigh, he smiled and pressed a kiss to David's temple. "I will never, ever pass up the chance to hold you like this. Rest, sweetheart, and remember how much I love you."

"I will...and you do the same," David said softly trying to stifle a yawn as he closed his eyes. "I love you," he whispered trailing off as sleep overtook him.

Craig lay awake and watched his lover sleep for almost an hour, marveling that this perfect man could actually love him. He tried to concentrate on seeing David's smile as he said 'forever' and the sparkle in his eyes as Craig knew he really, really believed. He still had a few things he wanted to 'discuss' with Richard, but right now, all that mattered was the soft smile on his lover's face as Craig curled up to him and finally drifted off to sleep. Seeing David smile was the only thing that would ever matter to Craig, he knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. "My beautiful David," he whispered softly, as he closed his eyes. "I love you so very much…" With those words on his lips, he finally drifted off to sleep, holding his lover tightly.

TBC