Title: Here With Me 2/?
Author: Anorien and Sairalinde
Type: RPS
Pairing: Craig/David
Rating: Explicit Sex
Beta: Ourselves
Warning: Abuse described in later chapters not between the main pairing.
Disclaimer: This never happened. This was written in fun that's all.
Feedback: Yes please send to sairalinde @ hornofgondor.com
or thechroniclesofosgiliath @ yahoo.com
Archiving: OEAM, Mirrormere, The Chronicles of Osgiliath, Saira's Library, CxD Archive, other's ask.
Summary: A.U. Two University Professors try to overcome their pasts and find love and healing.

// Indicates thoughts.

Notes: The "poem" Exile as read by David is actually the song Exile as performed by Kathryn Roberts and Kate Rusby.

Chapter 2

David walked into the classroom smiling brighter than he had in what seemed years. The short time he'd spent with Craig had turned his entire day around. He was truly happier than he remembered being in a very long time, and he actually was looking forward to the time *after* his class for once.

Normally he just lost himself in his classes, falling into the role of professor, and becoming a whole other person in the process. He would become Dr. Wenham and use every ounce of any acting skill he had learned when he was a student to be more than just a professor who stood up and told people what to think about poetry. He involved his students, wanted them to enjoy his class, and walk away remembering it after the semester was over. The only problem was after classes were over he was just plain David again, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin, and self conscious and worried that nothing he did was right, or good enough. Teaching he knew what he was doing, he knew his job, he loved his job, but it was life he wasn't very good at.

His grad student Sally smiled at him as he walked up to his desk. "What's got you so happy? You read the critique?" she asked grinning knowing from the smile on his face that he'd probably seen the paper.

"Huh?" David asked confused. "I no...no what'd it say? Was it horrible?" he asked curiously figuring that it was. He knew there was supposed to be a review today but he was too afraid to look.

"I wouldn't have brought it up if it was horrible Dr. Wenham!" Sally said laughing. "Instead I would have burned every copy of that paper and come up with some sort of curse to give the reviewer warts or something."

David began to laugh at her joke and shook his head. "Well where is it then?" he asked looking at the pile of papers on his desk trying to pretend he really was interested in it. He really wasn't, part of him wanted to be, but he knew the review good or bad would just have his father yelling at him if it were bad, and dismissing him if it were good.

"Here it is...let me read it please? I wanna see you get all blushy!" the young woman teased happily and David shook his head and sighed.

"Read it quick the students are coming in soon," he scolded moving papers on his desk into a basket on the floor beside it.

"Let's see..." she said softly and clearing her throat, "Wenham's skill...she's talking about you by the way..." she teased and David rolled his eyes and gestured for her to move on, "Wenham's skill at painting form and action with words is best shown in the poems "Let Me Go" and "Fold My Wings". After reading those poems, I was left wishing I could see inside this man's head, if only just once. Most importantly, these poems sing. They are excellently written and emotionally moving. What a rare combination in the world of poetry today. I cannot recommend his book highly enough for lovers of the written and spoken word. It is simply stated, magic." Sally was nearly bouncing by the time she finished reading the review and nearly laughing at the blush that stained her favorite professor's cheeks.

David grabbed the paper from her completely shocked, "It said that?" he asked incredulously as he looked at what she had read. He wasn't sure how to react, he'd never had a review quite like that and to come from the person it had? Well…certainly didn't happen very often. His father couldn't begrudge him this one. He just couldn't.

"Yep, so how's it feel? Not everyday that Rosedale gives a review like that," Sally asked still unable to stop grinning. She had helped David compile his latest book of poetry and she was extremely proud of it, not to mention the fact he'd given her editorial credit on the book. So the review from someone as prestigious as Rosedale was quite a feather in her cap as well.

David plopped down in his chair still staring at the words on the page. "I...I dunno. I don't think it's hit me yet," he said softly still unable to believe that Susan Rosedale had given him a glowing review like that.

"Well that gives you something to celebrate with your new boyfriend then," Sally said sitting down on David's desk swinging her legs up until one pink tennis shoe was tucked under her and tugging at her sweater.

"What?" David asked his eyes snapping up to meet her big brown ones.

"Your new fella...saw the two of you at the cafe, you didn't notice me at all by the way and thank you very much. Only been your assistant for a year now," she mock pouted. "So come on who is he?"

"Craig?" David asked confused. He'd never seen Sally at the cafe...actually he didn't even remember drinking his coffee either...but he certainly remembered Craig's touch. His beautiful blue eyes, and gorgeous smile.

"Is that his name? Craig? Craig what? Come on David give me something here. You two looked like you were about to just sit there all day gazing into each other's eyes. I almost went over and said hello but you both seemed to be off in your own little world. So come on...give me something here?" she pleaded smiling sweetly. She rarely called him by his first name but figured a situation like this she could get away with it. The professor didn't seem to notice her slip in the least, his mind obviously elsewhere.

David laughed and felt his face flush again. "His name is Craig Parker, he's a professor in pre-med teaches anatomy. He's new here," David explained.

"Oh yeah, he's the new professor replacing Dr. Williams. Terrible about Dr. Williams wife. So when did you two hook up? I thought that Dr. Williams had just been replaced a few days ago?" Sally asked excitedly.

David shook his head. "I met him today after the staff meeting this morning. We...we had coffee and talked. He's...he's great, and he also hasn't found a place to live yet so I offered him a room in my house," David explained smiling just thinking of Craig.

Sally stiffened a bit. "Dr. Wenham I don't want to sound out of place here but you met him today?" she asked incredulously. "And you asked him to move in with you?"

"I well it's not like *that* he needs a place to stay, and you know my place is huge," David defended frowning at the young woman.

"Oh I know...just. I just don't want to see you hurt again. The way you were looking at him and him you well...it just seems more than roomies if you get my drift," Sally said chewing her lip. She liked David, a lot always had since freshman year. He was the reason she changed her major and she'd never regretted it since.

"Well it's none of your business...but we discussed the fact we are attracted to each other. Got it out in the open so to speak...so we both know where we stand with that. But we are friends and are going to just see what happens. Attraction sometimes just fades, but I would really love to have his friendship," David said looking down at his desk.

Sally nodded. "I understand, and you are right it's none of my business. I just think the world of you, you know that. So you are friends who hold hands?" she grinned. "It was really cute, you two are well...this is going to make you blush but you are adorable together...really."

Just as Sally had said David felt his face burning and knew he was blushing. "Thanks, I'll be sure and tell him my graduate assistant thinks we are adorable," he grinned. "Now get off my desk unless you plan to teach today." He said smacking her jeans clad knee.

"Oh no...not I said the little red hen. Sky's not falling today...you need to teach...burn off some of that energy I see in those eyes of yours," she grinned slipping off his desk.

Within a few minutes students began to enter the classroom and David took a deep breath trying to get into his 'role' as Dr. Wenham. When the last student's chair scraped across the floor and the door closed David grabbed his poetry anthology book and stood up from his chair, placed his foot in it and jumped up onto the desk. Smiling he pointed to a young man in the front row.

"So...what can you tell me about Byron?" David asked waiting for the student to get their wits about them to respond. This was the only place in the world his inhibitions and insecurities faded away. Before his students...and now...in front of Craig. He smiled not willing to release that thought from his mind and listened to the young man stammer out an answer before diving into his lecture.

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Craig's journal entry after meeting David.

His name is David and he's perfect. He's kind, intelligent, sensitive, and simply gorgeous. I saw him today for the first time. I swear, I fell totally, completely, and utterly in love with him in that instant. I don't know when, or even *if* I can ever tell him that, though. He's been hurt in the past, - he told me a bit about it - and I'm not sure he needs to hear how much I love him just now. We talked for a couple of hours, and it was like I've known him all my life. I have, in a way. I've been looking for him forever. I want.......no, I *need* to be in his life. I want to be his best friend, his lover, his everything. But I'm not going to pressure him. If he ever trusts me enough to love me even a fraction as much as I love him, then I'll tell him. Otherwise, I may have to settle for being in his life as a friend only. That will kill me, but it's better than losing him altogether. I'm scared and I'm thrilled and I'm happy and .... I'm so in love, I can barely think.

He offered to let me rent a room at his house. Offered to let me have it, actually, but I couldn't do that. It's stupid - I know I should have turned him down, but I just couldn't. I can't let him know *why* I don't have an apartment of my own, *why* I was so desperate to get this teaching job. I will do whatever I have to do just to be close to him. The only thing I have left of any value is my mother's wedding band. It's the one thing Father didn't get his hands on before he.....Anyway…If David ever thought I was using him, I couldn't stand it. I really couldn't. I don't want his money; I don't want anything from him. Well, that's not true. I do want his love. More than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. I'm thinking I'll pawn the wedding band so I can pay David up front for the room - maybe a few months in advance.

Anyway.....David's class will be over soon. He's supposed to come and find me when he's finished, so I'll end here. I just..........I just had to record everything I'm thinking and feeling today. The day I met the man whom I will love for the rest of my life. The man with the touch that drives me crazy already, with the glittering blue eyes that I could happily drown in, with the smile that makes me forget my own name.

I love him that much. Already.

~~~

David looked at the clock again wishing Craig had let him come over to his hotel to help him get his things. He hated waiting around especially when he was worried they were going to change their mind.

What if he had decided David had to be nuts yesterday to invite him to come live with him like that? It certainly wasn't normal behavior for anyone, not even David as odd as he was. Normally it took him years to trust someone enough to even invite them over for dinner. When he was with Richard he *never* allowed him to even stay the night. Normally they went out, and spent time at Richard's apartment but rarely spent time at David's home and never did they sleep in David's bed. Richard cheated more than once so just Thank God for that, he'd have had to burn the bed.

Craig had packed as quickly as possible - which wasn't hard when you owned only a few articles of clothing and a few dozen books. Before checking out of his hotel, he'd sat on the bed staring at his mother's wedding ring for long minutes.

"I'm sorry, mother," he whispered, closing the velvet box. "But if you met David, you'd understand why I have to do this. He's all I ever wanted. And I know you're watching over me and smiling. If there's *any* way you can help him love me and accept my love, please try. I need him so much."

Craig left the hotel and drove straight to the pawnshop, trying not to think about what he was doing. Twenty minutes later, he walked out, minus the ring, and sat quietly in the car for a few minutes, fighting back the tears. Then, in a flash, he pictured David's amazing smile, and his glittering blue eyes. Craig couldn't keep a smile from his own face as his fingers tightened around the steering wheel, already missing the feel of David's hand in his.

Using the directions he'd been given earlier, Craig drove directly to David's house, turning the radio up and singing his heart out. He slowed down as he reached the street David lived on. // My God. This looks like the neighborhood I used to live in. Before......// He took a deep breath. He could do this. He *had* do to this. David was everything he needed….he was already sure of that.

Finally reaching the street and number written on the scrap of paper in his hand, Craig pulled to a stop, and was unable to keep the grin from his face as David greeted him.

D'Artagnan began barking and running in circles by the front door. Craig was there.

David took a deep breath and smiled in relief as he headed for the door. Opening it, his smiled widened when Craig stepped out of the car and came around to the trunk as D'Artagnan ran circles around him barking.

Taking a deep breath - and telling himself in a LOUD voice not to fuck this up, Craig reached down to pet the dog that was running around his feet and barking. He was thrilled to just be close to David again, and felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. Laughing, he realized he was unable to even look at the house because he couldn't take his eyes off David as he walked toward the car.

Laughing, David called the dog over and told him to sit which he did, though his tail continued to wag excitedly.

"I think D'Artagnan likes you," David said smiling as he walked up beside Craig to help him with his things.

Walking around to open the trunk, Craig's smile grew even wider as David joined him and reached for the suitcase. Their hands touched briefly as they both reached out to grab the garment bag, and Craig closed his eyes for a moment, his breath hitching at the contact.

"I.....uh.....kind of went minimalistic when I moved," he said, realizing exactly how little he actually owned. "Thought I might buy some new things when I got settled."

David felt that same charge of electricity race up his arm from the brief contact with Craig's hand as he had the day before each time they touched and managed a nod. "I've only ever moved from my parents house to this one, so I haven't much experience with that sort of stuff…but if I were going to move a long distance I think I'd probably just take my clothes and just a few other things. Seems simpler that way," he said picking up the garment bag and a small box from the trunk.

D'Artagnan was sitting by the steps as David had commanded him to but the dog looked positively ready to burst wanting to investigate the new person who had just arrived. David grinned at him then turned back to Craig. "Gona warn you…my dog is well trained but more of a people person than I am…once I tell him he can move he's going to pounce on you and try and lick you to death."

Craig could stand it no longer. Putting down the suitcase in his hand, he grinned at David. "God, I love dogs. And....I'm dying to pet him again. Can you tell him to move now?"

David whistled, signaling D'Artagnan to move and immediately the dog loped toward Craig.

Moments later, Craig found himself sprawled out on the pavement, a large, wet tongue lapping his face, as he laughed so hard his sides hurt. After several minutes of mutual hands-on getting-to-know-you, Craig gave the dog a kiss on the head and stood up. "I love him," he chuckled. "I think we'll get along just fine."

Laughing as he watched his dog attack his friend giving him plenty of doggie kisses, David called him off and held out his hand to Craig to steady him as he stood back up. "I'm glad the two of you like each other...he's generally pretty friendly. Hated my ex though, guess he's smarter than I am." David shrugged, hoisting the garment bag and turning for the front steps.

"Come on I'll show you around and you can pick which room you want, there are a few and I didn't want to decide for you," David said waiting for Craig to follow him up the steps. It felt right having Craig here at his home for some reason. He never wanted others around really, but Craig was...different.

"Whichever room you think will be best works for me, " Craig said. "I trust your judgment." He found he couldn't seem to stop smiling at David as they walked up to his house. His first impression of the house was mind-blowing, but had been quickly replaced by the warmth he felt when he saw David smile. After that smile, and one look into those glittering eyes, the huge house, which had seemed to be more of a mansion, had paled in comparison.

Taking a deep breath, Craig turned toward David and smiled. //God, I hope I can keep my hands off him. He's....he's so damn perfect. I'm not sure I can do this. No…I *have* to do this. I simply.......*have* to. Don't push, don't rush, don't ask for anything. Just be here, for anything and everything he needs. // "You lead the way. I'm here at your graciousness, and I'm sure you'll do a better job than me in choosing."

"Well," David considered for a moment, "I suppose the one across from mine? It has the nicest view I think." He knew it was an excuse to have Craig close, but the room did have the best view…better than his own really. They crossed from the foyer to the staircase that wound upwards to the second floor. David looked around "I told you it was a bit much for one person…just haven't had the heart to sell it. My great grandfather built this house and I inherited it when my grandfather passed away several years ago. I…I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable or anything? I know it isn't exactly the standard home of a professor." David said blushing as they topped the last step to the landing of the second floor.

"Here it is, you have your own bathroom, and…and my room is right across the hall if you need anything," David said setting the garment bag and box on the settee at the end of the large bed.

Craig smiled as he took in the large bedroom. It did, in fact, have a spectacular view. But he could have looked out onto a solid brick wall for all he cared, as long as he was close to David. Just knowing that David was right across the hall.....Not close enough, but closer than before.

Looking over at David as he set the items on the bed, Craig had trouble dragging his eyes away. "It's gorgeous, David," Craig said softly. "You have a beautiful home. Thank you again for letting me stay here." He took a deep breath and smiled, trying to calm his racing heart. Just being this close to David made his head spin. "So. Tell me what you like to eat, and I'll run to the store. Anything you like. Consider it part of my rent." He reached down into his pocket and drug his wallet out. "Speaking of rent," he said, handing over several large bills, "Here's for the first few months. If it's not enough, let me know....it's no problem." //Cool it Parker. Just hand him the bills and put your hands back in your pockets. He's not going to let you live here for long if you keep pawing at him. //

David eyed the bills for a moment feeling a little awkward, "You really don't have to pay up front like that, Craig. Here," he said handing back one of the bills. "Groceries were part of the rent agreement. Use that to buy stuff for dinner tonight and the next few and that way I won't feel so weird. I've never had anyone rent from me before...feels strange," David said softly. "And I'm not a picky person so whatever you pick is fine, really. I normally don't eat very well anyway...mother is always on my case about that. So you'll be doing me a favor getting her off my back if you have what she calls 'real food' in mind," he added grinning.

"You don't eat very well?" Craig asked, wanting to know why and wanting to fix it, whatever the answer. "Well, I'm thinking that after today, you'll be eating VERY well. I'm thinking.....maybe lasagna tonight, pot roast tomorrow, and some..........roasted chicken the next night? You'll have to tell me what you like. Your wish is my command." Craig bowed low and grinned up at David. "Seriously. Thanks again for letting me stay here, David. And I'll run to the store right now - if I can find it. Unless......well, unless you want to go with me? Or write down the directions? I'm sure grocery shopping isn't your favorite way to spend an evening." He looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "Oh, never mind. I'll find it. And I'll be back in a few minutes. The menu for the next few days sound acceptable to you?"

David began to smile as Craig spoke unable to help himself. He was just so...cute. "Craig," he laughed, "I don't mind going with you to the store...and you aren't my servant you're my guest - well I think of you as a guest even if you are paying rent. And you are my friend. I don't eat well because I'm always alone, seems a waste of time to cook...besides the fact I'm not very good at it. When I get really desperate I go to Diana's or mothers. Usually I just eat a can of soup or a sandwich or something quick and easy." David smiled as he saw Craig sort of relax a little. "The menu sounds wonderful, and I'd like to help you at the store if you want? Unless you'd rather go alone," he added uncertainly. He was never sure if people really wanted his company or were just humoring him. Craig may very well want to go alone. David looked down at the floor and studied the large Oriental rug under foot.

Craig looked up, surprised to see David looking down at the floor. //Here I am, trying not to let him know how much I care, and if I'm not careful, I'm going to make him think I don't care at all. // "David," Craig said softly, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around his friend and hold him tightly, making him forget every bad thing that had ever happened to him to make him feel this way. "I really, really don't want to go alone. I was just afraid you'd feel like I was.........I don't know....clingy or something. I'm used to being alone. But I suddenly don't find it half as attractive as I used to think it was."

David looked up at Craig and smiled shyly, "I...I think I know what you mean. I'm used to being alone too...but I'm...well I think I could get used to not being alone anymore," David said softly, feeling his face burning as he blushed. He wanted to be with Craig...he had never felt all that attached to Richard though he had put up with so much. But with Craig he already felt like he was a part of his life, and wanted him there.

He looked over at Craig's bags, "I should let you unpack...then we can go shopping?"

"Yeah," Craig said, turning toward his suitcase and smiling. "Give me five minutes, and I'll meet you at the front door." // Maybe I've NOT screwed this up. Maybe there is some hope left.....God, I can't let him go. I *know* beyond a shadow of a doubt that he deserves better, but I also know that I can't live without him. //

David nodded and walked out into the hallway still clutching the money Craig had given him. He shoved the bills in his pocket without looking at how much it was. He didn't care, he didn't need the money he had only wanted to help Craig…and to be closer to a person he found more than attractive. There was just *something * about Craig, something that made David want to know more, learn more about him. Be near him. He looked down at D'Artagnan and frowned, "I hope I don't screw this up," he murmured to the dog as they started down the steps.

Craig felt lonely the second David walked out of the room. He'd hesitated, not wanting David to see how little he really owned. He quickly stuffed everything into the closet and walked out the bedroom door, smiling like he'd been smiling since he first saw David - like he hadn't smiled in years.

David was downstairs rubbing D'Artagnan's belly when he heard Craig coming down the steps. "That was fast," David said standing up. "Mind if I drive? I actually need to drive my car, haven't driven the thing in two weeks...oil is going to turn into tar or something," he grinned, enjoying the way Craig was smiling at him. He had a beautiful smile, and he wished it were because of him.

Craig's smile widened as he saw David stand up and turn toward him. His heart jumped again, and Craig decided that he was going to have to accept that no, he was NOT having a heart attack every time he looked at David, and that yes, *something* was going to happen every time he touched him, or their eyes locked. That's what love does to a person, he thought.

"Please do drive," Craig said with a grin. "You'd be surprised at how easily I can get lost. And.....well, tar in your oil tank....I don't know a lot about cars, but I somehow get the idea that that's *not* a good thing." He opened the door and leaned against the door jam, waiting for David to cross the room. His first instinct was to reach out for David's hand, but he was determined not to push things - to let David go at his own pace. He turned to look outside so he wouldn't be caught staring at the man who'd so stolen his heart in less than a day. "Beautiful evening," he said softly, holding his breath as he sensed David coming nearer.

David wished he could reach out and touch Craig, to hold his hand the way they had the day before walking from the cafe back to the library but that was yesterday. He was so unsure about everything his entire life and since Richard he'd been even more unsure of himself. As he approached Craig he smiled and touched his arm briefly indicating for Craig to go first. "It is a beautiful evening. Don't let me forget later to give you a full tour of the house?" David asked as he pulled the door shut locking it.

David stood for a moment again feeling a pang of regret for not having taken Craig's hand, then again they were only walking to the car, he hadn't been crying and upset, he had no *reason* to touch the other man. He sighed softly as they made their way for the car. "I'm not much of a cook but if you want help when we get back I'd be glad to do something...if only keep you company." He felt more than a little uneasy about offering, last time he had helped someone in a kitchen it hadn't exactly turned out the way he'd hoped it would.

Craig swallowed his disappointment when David failed to take his hand. Already, he was longing for David's touch again, the entangled fingers, the soft brush of skin on skin. And somehow, Craig knew that feeling would never go away, no matter how much or how long they touched. "I'm fine, really," he smiled. "Let me wait on you for the evening, please? As a way to thank you for your hospitality."

As they got in David's car, Craig tried not to stare. How could one *not* stare at that beautiful profile, that breath-taking smile, and.....well, just everything. Taking a deep breath, he folded his hands in his lap to keep from reaching out and touching David. He faced forward and tried to concentrate on the scenery. They talked quietly and about little things - anything and nothing - as they made their way to the store. // God this is going to be harder than I thought. I just want to touch him..... And I can't. God, give me strength..... //

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When they arrived back home from the grocery store the two men set to work putting away the groceries keeping out items to use for dinner that night.

Setting the cans of vegetables and sauces carefully in the shelf, aligning the labels and making sure they were in order David moved to the next task. This was a good way for him to show Craig around the large kitchen, as he set the lettuce in a colander in the sink he looked over at Craig and smiled.

"You almost know your way around in here better than I do already," he said softly as Craig set a few things on the center island. He had to fight the urge to touch the other man all night and it was starting to wear on him a bit. They had touched yesterday seemingly so easily and now they both kept avoiding each other. David looked over at the bottle of wine and decided maybe they could both use a drink at this point. "Would you like some wine while we cook?" David asked uncertainly.

Craig watched as David oh-so-carefully aligned each can and jar in the cabinet, wondering if he should have been doing the same with the groceries he'd put away. It *was* David's house after all, and he probably liked things to be in a certain order. Before he could move to rearrange the cans he'd already put away, David spoke. Craig smiled and released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I'd love some wine," he said, opening several cabinets until he found two wine glasses. He walked over to David and set the glasses down, noticing that David's face looked a little drawn. Without thinking, he reached over and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. "Are you ok, David? Have I......have I done or said something wrong?"

When Craig touched him automatically David leaned into the touch slightly then blushed.

"Sorry...I," he began and then reached up and closed his hand around Craig's wrist pulling him closer. They stared at each other for a moment and David could feel his heart racing. What exactly did he plan to do now? "I have to admit something," he said softly looking down, "I have been trying to find an excuse to touch you all evening." He swallowed unsure how Craig would take what he just said but it was the truth. "I know we decided friends, but...yesterday...well," he laughed softly. "My graduate assistant saw us holding hands yesterday...teased me about it a little bit. I...I enjoy feeling you near me, Craig. I'm terrified of how I feel right now...I'm not ready for more than...than *this* but I just couldn't not touch you. I'm...I'm sorry if I've offended you though." David released his arm and began to back away feeling like an idiot.

Craig's heart sped up as David pulled him closer and he closed his eyes, just happy to be touching him once again. As David began to back away, Craig reached out and gently pulled him back. "I know what we decided, David," he whispered. "But...God, I've been dying to touch you too....It's been hell trying to keep my hands off you. I didn't want to scare you off, so I've been trying to keep my hands to myself. Are you ok with.....with us holding hands for now? I mean, I just need to *feel* you next to me, is that ok? I promise I won't pressure you for more, but.........if we could just do that for now...just hold hands, I'd…I'd like that alot." Looking down, he knew he should take his hand off David's arm, but was afraid he'd run away. "And....if you ever need......well, if you need a hug or anything, all you have to do is say the word. I promise I'll respect your boundaries and I promise I'll stop whenever you ask me to."

"I'm very ok with us just holding hands for now," David smiled. "Sally...my graduate assistant, she said we were...adorable," David laughed blushing slightly. "I just...I don't think you'll hurt me, Craig. I already trust you enough to share my home, it just...well it's going to take me a while and I don't want to make you wait for what could be a long time." He looked down and tangled his fingers with Craig's and squeezed softly. "It isn't boundaries...its simply fear of being hurt again. I'm not saying you will...but I don't exactly have the best track record."

Craig couldn't keep the grin on his face from widening as David squeezed his fingers. "Adorable, eh?" he said. "I hope that's a good thing." He moved in closer and studied David's face seriously. "I understand how you feel David. Don't worry about me." Using his free hand, he tilted the other man's face up until their gazes met. "I'll wait for as long as you need me to. I know you're going to be worth it. And let me get this out of the way. I'm *not* going to hurt you. I promise you, I will *never* hurt you. I....//I love you, I worship you, I adore you too much to ever do that. // I swear, I'll never hurt you. I'll be right here, waiting, holding your hand."

David felt his chest tighten as Craig's words were spoken and he smiled. "Thank you," he said softly then looked at the two empty wine glasses. "I guess I should pour that wine then," he grinned still holding Craig's hand and giving it one final soft squeeze before releasing him and reaching for the bottle. It had been difficult to say those things, but he couldn't stand not being near this beautiful man. He knew his heart was in danger of being hurt again, he trusted Craig but then again he'd trusted others in the past. "And…well my assistant Sally is an unusual girl. Gives me hell in a good way I guess…she took one of my classes her freshman year and changed her major because she liked it so much. Can't tell you how many times I tried to talk her out of that. Not much call for poets in the world, but she's a gifted writer and a damn good editor. She helped me with my last book, did the editing on it for me. She was very excited yesterday when I got back to the classroom," David explained as he poured two glasses of wine.

Craig smiled and watched as David poured the wine, his fingers already longing for the warmth of the fingers that were now wrapped around the wine bottle. Looking away, Craig stared down at the counter. "Sounds like Sally is a big help to you," he said, tracing an imaginary pattern on the Formica. "Wait......your last book?" Craig shook his head and looked up at David, his eyes wide. "And she was excited? Wait....back up. What was she excited about? And...I didn't know you were published! Do you have any copies lying around here? I'd love to read it - or, better yet, you could read a bit to me while I cook? Please, David? I'd love to hear some of your work." Craig could barely contain his excitement, and couldn't help but smile at the look on David's face.

David looked at Craig as he set the bottle down. "You can't be serious? You actually want to hear it?" he asked shocked, none of his ex's were ever interested in his writing. Staring at the other man he could tell from Craig's eyes he was serious. "Well this was my third book of poetry actually. She...she was excited because we got a good review, I think the paper is on the console table by the door I threw it down there yesterday with my folder of essays I have to grade this weekend." David said softly. He hadn't really given the review much thought since Sally told him...especially the way his father had reacted to it. Saying that he was glad he'd gotten a good review, but that there were more important things in life than critical acclaim. Just because the critics liked the book didn't mean it was going to sell.

Craig watched David in surprise as he sat the bottle down and stared at him. "Of course I'm serious," he said softly, walking back to the door and getting the paper.

David grinned and shook his head as Craig headed out of the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and took a drink of his wine and smiled as he heard Craig talking on his way back into the kitchen.

"Now, I need the names of all three of your books. I want to read them all." He lifted the paper up to eye level, preparing to read the review. "God, David," he smiled a few minutes later. "This review is amazing. Looks like the critic was in awe of your talent. And, judging from the other reviews on this page, I think she doesn't get awed very often." He re-read the review and shook his head, his eyes shining with excitement. "I'll buy the books tomorrow, but do you have any of them here? I'm all excited about hearing them. Like I said, I love poetry anyway, but knowing that you wrote it..... Tell me where they're at if you have them. I'll go get them and I'd love to hear you read a bit to me. That is,....*IF* you wouldn't mind."

David blushed furiously when Craig started reading the review, then looked back up at him and asked about his books. "You don't have to buy them…honestly. I have the first pressings of each of them in the library. Come on, I'll show you then we can make dinner? It really is no big deal, Craig. Like I said it's my third book, all three have gotten good reviews, just…well poetry doesn't exactly fly off the shelves," David said softly almost adding Richard's favorite phrase 'until the poet is dead that is,' he thought sadly.

David led the way to the library and watched as Craig looked around the large room lined with books. This was his favorite room in the house, and judging by what Craig had said the day before it might be his favorite room as well. He walked over to the large desk and picked up the books there. "Here they are…all three. The latest one, the review you just read was of //Soul Picture//, the one before it was //Fools Return//, and my first one was called //Mother of Eden//. The first two were named after my favorite poems in them but this last one I named after how I felt the poetry was for me. Much of it was written after what happened last year, we scraped everything I had put together previously and used only new poems. I wrote a lot after what happened while I was in the hospital and then when I came back to all the rumors I told you about. Was helpful to get the words and thoughts out of my head on paper. I didn't intend to publish those, but Sally and Diana managed to talk me into it," he said walking over to Craig and handing the books to him. "You can keep them, no need to buy the things, consider them a gift."

Craig ran his fingers carefully over the cover of each book, already considering each one precious and valued beyond words. He opened // Soul Picture // and read, then re-read the first poem he ran across. Biting his bottom lip, he took a deep breath and looked up at David. "This is……my God, David," he whispered. "This is beautiful. I….I don't even have the words to explain how it makes me feel. Poetry - *good poetry* always moves me, but this……it just speaks to my heart. Kind of like you……" Craig shook his head and his eyes grew wide. "You know, kind of like…..like….it…um…..gets *inside* me you know?" // Oh for fuck's sake Parker! Shut the hell up! // Hanging his head, Craig gently closed the book and held all three of them to his chest. "Thank you, David," he said quietly. "I will treasure these always."

David blushed and smiled looking down at the floor from Craig's reaction. "Thank you...I...well I," he stammered unable to say anything to that. Craig's words had made him feel better than any review he'd ever gotten and he had no idea how to tell him that his words meant more than any of those critics. This was a person who enjoyed poetry, and wasn't making money from writing a review good or bad, he was giving his opinion and David hoped it was his honest opinion and he wasn't just saying those things because they were friends. He looked back up at Craig, at the way his beautiful blue eyes shone and he decided that it *was* his honest opinion. Realizing that it made David blush even more and he laughed softly. "I hope you do enjoy them, it is all a writer can hope for," he said softly.

Craig chewed on his bottom lip as he watched David blush and look down at the floor. // God, David. What has happened to you to make you doubt yourself so much? How can you not see how perfect and wonderful and beautiful and talented you really are? I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I will make you see all that. Even if you can't ever love me back, I'll love you enough for the both of us and I'll make you see yourself the way I see you. // Taking a deep breath, Craig smiled and walked over to take David's hand in his own. Squeezing his fingers gently, he waited for David too look into his eyes. "I love them already. Will you read some to me while I cook?" he asked shyly, suddenly afraid that David would want to go somewhere else, *do* something else. After all, Craig reasoned, how exciting was it to watch someone cook? His fingers unconsciously tightened on David's, and he searched his face, hoping that his answer would be the one Craig wanted to hear.

As Craig took his hand David looked up into his friend's beautiful eyes and smiled "I'd love to keep you company and read to you," he said softly feeling the warmth of Craig's touch and kindness in his eyes wash over him. He pushed himself away from the desk and they walked toward the kitchen still hand in hand. David took a deep breath and felt as if all the tension he'd felt earlier simply melt away because of Craig being so near. If they never explored whatever it was they were feeling for each other further than friendship it wouldn't matter as long as he felt this way every time Craig was near him. He made him feel...complete. David glanced over at Craig as they entered the kitchen and reluctantly released his hand so he could get started with dinner. "Are you sure you don't want me to help? I'm not much of a cook, but I can do something? Unless you are sure you just want me to read? I don't mind, I just don't want you to think I'm lazy," he grinned leaning against the counter, hiding his worry of actually being asked to help. He would, but he hardly ever cooked for himself anymore after what had happened.

Craig smiled back at David, fighting the urge to brush a stray lock of hair that had fallen forward onto his forehead. "I'm sure," he said softly, filling a deep pan with water to keep his hands otherwise occupied. "I love to cook, and I love poetry and nothing would make me happier than to enjoy both at the same time. I can't wait to read your poems anyway, and if you weren't here to read them to me, I'd end up doing both at the same time and probably get spaghetti sauce on the books and…..well, then I'd just end up mad at myself and ruin our dinner. So," he smiled. "You see, you're doing us both a favor. Keeping me out of trouble, *and* saving dinner."

David laughed and took his glass of wine. "Well then I suppose I have to," he grinned. He picked up the books and walked over to the bar and settled down to watch Craig and read to him. "So which one would you want me to start with?" he asked as Craig worked watching the other man move about his kitchen and feeling that he belonged here. Here in David's home, in his life.

"Read me your favorites, please," Craig said, as he dumped the large packet of ground beef into a pan and reached for the ingredients to make the sauce. He knew he had a huge grin on his face just from being so close to David, and was actually glad he wasn't facing him right now, worried that he'd think he was some kind of idiot for wearing such a stupid smile for no apparent reason.

David opened his first book and began reading from it. Speaking words he'd written so long ago, but he still remembered every one. He kept glancing up at Craig as he worked and at one point almost paused to just stare at the other man. //He's so beautiful, and perfect, why would he even want to spend a moment with someone like me?// Realizing he'd almost paused too long he looked back down and began reading again.

Craig found himself closing his eyes several times, just letting the soft tones of David's voice wash over him, soothing and rich and beautiful. Each piece that he read was incredible - haunting and soul-searching and perfect and just…..David. Craig noticed several pauses as David read, but each time he turned around to look, he saw David quickly look back down and begin reading again. // God. What if he's regretting letting me stay here? What if I've done something stupid? What if…. Ok…enough. Deep breath. Calm down. Listen to him. Listen to his voice, his words…..his heart. // Finally calming his shaking hands, Craig sat the lasagna in the oven and began making the salad, feeling calmer by the second as David continued to read.

David looked up from the words printed on the page again and watched Craig for a moment and smiled. "You...you want me to go on?" he asked softly. As he watched the way the evening sun poured into the kitchen from the large windows and seemed to cast a golden light on Craig he smiled and knew he wanted to remember what that looked like. In his mind words seemed to form on their own and he closed his eyes for a moment to try and remember them for later. When he opened them again he saw Craig looking at him and he blushed, "Sorry...I uh...well sometimes poems come to me at the oddest times and if I close my eyes I can sort of almost see the words and then I can remember them later when I really want to get them down on paper," he said softly feeling incredibly silly. His father hated that and it always made Richard furious.

Craig put down the salad bowl and walked over to the counter. "So, these beautiful poems come to you naturally?" he asked. "I'm honestly blown away by your talent, David. I'd love to know whatever just came to you, but I'm sure you want to write it down first. I loved that I was able to be here to see that. The way you closed your eyes and smiled …it was….perfect. I'm sorry if I intruded. I just couldn't….look away." Craig swallowed the lump in his throat at the look in David's eyes, fighting the urge to touch him again, if only for a moment. He took a deep breath and turned back to the stove, checking on the lasagna. "Please, keep reading. This should all be ready in a few minutes."

David blushed when Craig said he'd love to know what just came to him. It was about Craig and David wasn't quite ready to share *that* just yet. "You didn't intrude, you live here, Craig. You can't help that your housemate is a loon," he grinned. "I...um I'll keep reading then," he had already changed to his most recent book and looked back down staring at the page. He swallowed when he saw which one he'd come to. It was //Exile// a poem that he wrote after being in the hospital last year. He took a deep breath and began to read, "I feel a shadow passing over me that could stay forever more. Like a wave I'm breaking far at sea, there's no one to hear the roar. And the days are drifting into seasons, they're the hardest I have known. A million spaces in the earth to fill, but there's no going home, no going home. When the thunder breaks the empty skies, I shall be there. No one to hold you when the storm birds fly, is there no one left to care?" he paused and swallowed a lump in his throat remembering how ppainful it was to write that. He looked up at Craig who had stopped working with the salad and crossed the room to stand near him.

As David read the last poem, Craig felt tears gather in his eyes. He put everything on the countertop and turned to face David as he continued. Before he knew what he was doing, Craig had crossed the room and found himself standing next to his friend. He gently pulled the book from David's hands and placed his own hands on David's shoulders, urging him to turn around and face him. "You wrote that after….after everything happened last year, didn't you?" he asked softly, already knowing the answer, but needing to hear David say it.

David nodded looking up at his friend surprised to see his eyes sparkling with unshed tears, "Yeah, after I came home from the hospital," he said softly looking away and down. He took a deep breath and shook his head, "I...I didn't think it would still hurt so much," he whispered.

Craig reached out and wrapped his arms around David, pulling him close. "You will *never* be alone again," he whispered, closing his eyes and remembering every line from the poem. "You will never feel that away, again, I promise. No more shadows, no more being alone, no more wondering whether or not anyone cares. No matter what happens, David, please believe me when I say that I will be here for you - however you want me. You will always have a place to come to when you need it - at the very least, you can always come back to my arms - the arms of someone who values you and cares for you, and will always, always be here for you, will always be your friend. Please, if nothing else, please never doubt that."

Leaning into his friend's embrace David took a deep breath, breathing in the unique scent of this beautiful man, his friend. "Thank you," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around Craig, his warmth calming him, soothing the ache in his heart. "That...that goes both ways, Craig," he said sitting back to look up at Craig but still keeping his arms around his friend's waist. "If you ever need me, I'm here."

Craig rested his arms on David's shoulders, unwilling to let him go just yet. He'd meant only to comfort him, but was surprised to find that all the heartache he kept hidden inside himself for the past few years suddenly lift away. "Thank you David," he whispered. "I'll….never forget that." He felt his face flush and he started to turn away, just as another thought hit him. "You don't…..I mean, the way you felt when you wrote that last poem….you don't feel that way now, do you? I mean, I know I said the words, but……do you believe them? Do you believe that no matter what else does or doesn't happen between us, that I will always be honored to be your friend and that nothing will ever change that?"

As Craig pulled away David felt a pang of disappointment. "I don't feel that way now...and I do believe you, Craig. I don't normally trust people very easily, but for some reason I trust you even though we still barely know each other, I trust you," he said softly.

"Good," Craig whispered, giving in and letting his hands run along each side of David's head, smoothing the soft hair with his fingers. He wanted nothing more than to sink back into this gorgeous man's arms, but he'd agreed to take it slow, to let David dictate how and where their relationship went, at his own speed. It wasn't easy, but this would be enough for now. It had to be. Unable to resist another quick hug, Craig tightened his arms once more before he turned and walked back over toward the stove, keeping his back toward David again to hide his smile of delight. Being in David's arms - whatever the reason - was pure and utter heaven. He pulled the lasagna and bread from the oven and smiled back at his friend. "And…..dinner is served," he announced.

David closed his eyes when Craig's hands gently moved over him and then smiled when Craig hugged him again before going to the stove. He found himself watching Craig as he took the food out of the oven and then quickly looked away almost blushing. Craig had a great body, and he hadn't been able to resist watching him. He'd told Craig he was attracted to him but neither of them was ready for that just yet. // Let's not go there, Daisy. // he thought to himself as he stood up and walked over to the cabinet to get plates and began setting the table. He never used the dining room, the table in the kitchen was just fine. "Ok if we eat in here?" he asked, "Never use the dining room...may as well convert it into an office for all it gets used."

"Sounds good to me," Craig smiled, reaching for the plates and piling heaping mounds of steaming lasagna and bread on one plate, then reaching for a salad bowl and filling it. He placed both before David, then turned to fix his own plate and sat down beside him. "Close your eyes, please," he laughed, taking David's fork and gathering a large bite on the tines. He blew on it a few times until it was cool. "Open your mouth and tell me what you think. And be honest. If it sucks, we can always order pizza." He paused for a moment, admiring his friend's gorgeous face before he gently placed the food into his mouth. As soon as David's mouth closed, Craig put the fork down and slid back a bit. //What the hell was THAT? You can't *feed* him! He'll think you've lost your mind! Laugh it off. And back the hell away a bit! // "So……is it awful?"

David was surprised by Craig's offer but at the same time it made him feel...taken care of. Richard would never even let him share food off his plate let alone feed each other. Since Craig was laughing and smiling he figured it was just him having fun so he did as he was asked. He kept his eyes closed and chewed the food slowly and then grinned at Craig. "It's not awful, in fact it's very good...maybe I should give you some of this rent money back? You cook like this for me and you don't have to pay rent at all," David grinned.

Craig grinned as David smiled back at him. God, how he loved that smile. "Nope. Cooking is part of the deal," he laughed. "I think I'm getting quite the bargain here." He forced himself to stop staring at David and looked down at his plate. He wished he had moved his chair over just a bit so at least their legs could touch, but David was a good six-inches away. He made a mental note to move the chair over next time he sat down, praying that David wouldn't be offended. It was just that he felt the need to touch him. And touch him often. Just to feel him close. He slowly began to eat, glancing over at David several times to see if he was really enjoying the food.

David watched as Craig looked down at his plate and began to eat, stealing glances at Craig every so often. "I need to show you the rest of the house and grounds before it gets too dark out, unless you'd like the full tour tomorrow?" David asked sitting back and taking a sip of his wine as he enjoyed watching Craig. He found he was unable to really *stop* watching the other man, living in the same house was not going to be easy physically, but emotionally it already made David feel more stable, more relaxed than he ever remembered being. It was as if Craig was the calming influence his soul needed. He didn't feel nearly as uncomfortable in his own skin when Craig was near.

Craig felt David's eyes on him and wondered if he had cheese smeared down his chin or something. Lifting his napkin to wipe his mouth, he smiled. "We could do the tour now, if you like," he said softly, standing. "I can't wait to see everything. It's so beautiful already, and I've only seen a couple of rooms." // Of course, the most beautiful part of it is sitting right here in front of me, but I don't think you want to hear that right now. // He started to reach out his hand for David's but decided to let David make the first move if that was what he wanted. So afraid he'd push too far, or hurt David's feelings in some way, Craig simply stood there, waiting to see what is friend wanted.

David smiled and set his napkin on the table and stood up, holding out his hand. "Come on then, I'll show you around," he said, hoping that Craig would take his offered hand. When he did he couldn't help but feel like that *this * was what it should feel like to care for another person.

Craig fingers closed reflexively around David's, happy that David apparently savored the contact as much as Craig did.

As they walked into the living area from the kitchen David smiled as D'Artangan wagged his tail from his bed in front of the fireplace. David whistled and the dog immediately was at their side. "Safer to take him with us, he's well trained but if we aren't here he'll be on the table eating the left overs." he grinned. "So where first? You saw the library...you've seen upstairs, it's all bedrooms. This is the living room...as you can tell I don't use it much," David shrugged. "Normally spend all my time in the library...you know if you need an office to grade papers and things like that why don't I convert the dining room for you? That way you'll have a comfortable place to work?" David asked as he led Craig toward the back of the house. "Or one of the bedrooms upstairs?"

"Oh, please," Craig said, "Don't go to any trouble for me. I just need a chair or something. I can use the one in the library or in the bedroom I'm sleeping in. Just wherever I won't be in your way. I've learned to work with very, very little space over the past couple of years." Quickly clamping his mouth shut, Craig looked over at David. "I mean…..I honestly just need a chair. I'm kind of used to that…so I don't need anything else."

David shook his head, "Don't be silly Craig, I'd like you to be comfortable here. Besides all these rooms are just going to waste. Just pick one...or I'll pick one for you," David grinned. "Please, it would make me feel better," he said softly hoping that Craig would agree. He wanted Craig to see that this was his home now too for as long as he wanted it. David already knew he'd never ask him to leave. When they came to the large den David stopped allowing Craig to look around at the large comfortable room. "This is the den, we used to spend a lot of time here when my Grandparents were still alive. Every Christmas there was a huge tree over in that corner by the window there."

Craig tried not to think about the office he used to have in the house he shared with his parents. He really didn't want to trouble David, but he could see that David was trying to make him as comfortable as possible. "Then you chose a room for me," he smiled. "Somewhere out of the way so I won't bother you. I tend to…..well, I tend to talk to myself while I'm grading papers." He drug his gaze away from David's face. "This is gorgeous, David," he said softly, looking around the den. "I can just imagine the Christmas tree. I love the holidays. Well, I love the thought of them anyway. My family was very small, so it was usually just us, but Christmas was always nice. Lately, I've been by myself for the holidays, but I've always managed to put up a tree of some kind. Do you still put your tree in the same place?"

David smiled when Craig relented on the office and nodded. "Alright I'll chose...and yeah some years I put up a tree....depends on how I feel I guess. The last few I haven't unless Diana comes over and pretty much makes me. I just never saw a point when it was just me and the dog here. I'd...well if you still want to be here at Christmas I'd like to do one this year I think...since I won't be alone," David said smiling. He knew he was taking too much for granted but he really hoped Craig would still be here then.

Craig felt the butterflies dance in his stomach. // *IF* I still want to be here at Christmas? God, David, I want to be with you, wherever you are, for the rest of my life. Even if we live in a cardboard box, I'll still be happy. // "I would love to still be here at Christmas, David," Craig said, feeling his face flush, as he looked down at their entwined hands. "I know I said this was only until I found a place," he whispered. "But….oh, God, David. I like it here too much already. I've kind of lost all desire to look for another place." He looked up, startled. "Oh, hell, I'm sorry. That was pushy. I mean, I'll find another place whenever you want me too. I just meant that I like it here….I feel like I *belong* here, which is stupid of me, I know. But, honestly…..David, I…..I like being here with you." Feeling as if he'd made a total fool of himself, Craig pulled his fingers away and went to stare out the window, resting his head against the warm glass. "I'm sorry," he murmured.

David looked at Craig, startled by his reaction and walked over to him hesitating for a moment before settling his hands on the other man's shoulders. "Craig, don't be sorry, please? I want you here...as long as you want to stay this is your home. Do you understand? I don't want you to look for another place, even if all we ever are is housemates that's fine with me, I just...I'm tired of being alone and you...you and I… we...we just seem to have so much in common and...we like each other. I'd like you to stay as long as you like, really," he said softly coaxing Craig to turn around and face him. He tipped Craig's chin up so he could look in his eyes. "I mean that, as long as you like," David said softly brushing his thumb lightly across Craig's jaw before drawing his hand away slowly realizing just how close he'd come to pulling him into his arms and kissing him. David stepped back and blinked a few times clearing his throat. // Too fast...too fucking fast, // he told himself.

//….even if all we ever are is housemates that's fine with me… Ok. Maybe I need to accept that it may end up like that. Maybe everything I'm feeling is one sided. If he's only attracted to me, that will fade, and he'll fall in love with someone else one day, and….// As David gently turned him around Craig stared into the stunning blue eyes. Something was there - or was it that Craig *wanted* something to be there so badly, he was seeing things? He had time to wonder if David was able to see how much Craig loved him as their eyes locked. The soft touch of David's thumb across his skin made Craig close his eyes and lean forward, ready to sell his very soul for the touch of those lips. He suddenly felt David pull away and he opened his eyes. Suppressing a sigh of disappointment, Craig nodded. "Thanks," he said softly. "I…..I know I'll love it here." He reached down and worried a button on his shirt. "I guess……I guess we should continue the tour now?" he asked softly.

David stood for a moment wishing that he weren't so afraid, but he feared that once he tasted those perfect lips he would be one step closer to losing Craig. "Yes...um," David looked around and then headed toward the door that led out to the patio. He turned looking back for Craig and smiled unsure if he should or not but he held his hand out again.

Craig crossed the room and wrapped his fingers around David's without hesitation, relieved that David still wanted to touch him at all. He took another deep breath and looked around him as they walked outside.

Continue to Chapter 3